Self Love: I am Enough. And also, You are Enough.

Most of you know a good chunk of what I do here at Stratejoy is coach lovely ladies like yourself.  It’s an immensely rewarding part of my business.  I am continually stretched, inspired, and in awe of the women I talk to on a weekly basis. And I’m forever learning new truths.

Which brings me to this:

Part of this authentic joy we talk so much about seems to start with truly believing and owning the fact that “I am enough.”

It wasn’t something I thought too much about at the beginning of Stratejoy.  I thought that our current situation, the current status of our life, was a base level to start with, to improve upon.

Self-love?  Self-worth?  I would get there eventually…

My seeking brain loved to remind me — of course I’m not enough! I haven’t built an empire!  I haven’t made all of my dreams come true!  I don’t eat all organic!   I should shave my legs more often!  Tell my friends I love them!  Stop watching hulu.com!  Be more patient with my kids! Express more desire for my husband!

And on and on…

Well, I’m allowed to change my mind.

I am now firmly on the “I am enough” bandwagon.

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Does that seem at odds with a personal development site dedicated to “helping women reinvent themselves” or “gaining clarity for meaningful forward movement?”

Nope.

Before any reinventing or forward movement, we must start from a strong, loving, secure base of self-worth.  If we don’t believe we are deserving of a big bold bright existence, it will never happen.  And what I’m finding and exploring more and more is that this self-love, this ability to believe we are deserving, boils down to the ability to declare “I am enough.”

Try it.  Say it out loud.  I am enough.

What comes up?  Do you feel like you’re faking it?  Do you immediately start adding buts, or sometimes, or ifs?

Part of the time I still can’t say it.

I have a long laundry list of things about myself I’d like to be “better.”

I’d like to call my parents more regularly.  I’d like to conquer my fear of failure.  I’d like to practice yoga everyday.  I’d like to be on of those girls who can sport dreads, ripped jeans, a nose ring and look unbelievably hot.  I’d like to stop feeling slightly nauseous when I look at my bank account.  I’d like to volunteer more often.  I’d like to always have a clean home, sexy underwear in the drawer, and an art project underway.

So much pushing.  So many mores.

When I think of that list, it’s hard for me to get behind the “I am enough” statement.  But the days I can’t believe it?  Those are the rough days.  Those are the days when a hater email makes me break down into tears. Those are the days I can’t shake off the fog.  Those are the days I start doubting my path.

You’d think I’d have learned by now, eh?  Because the days I can say, “I am enough, just as I am, right this very moment, with all my quirks and foibles, in all my ridiculous glory?”

Those are the days that feel the best. Those are the days I find peace.

I should probably start shouting it a little louder, with more emphasis.

My name is Molly and I am enough, just as I am, right this very moment.

I shall now launch into my Enoughness Manifesto!

(I’m sharing this not to brag or dance a little narcissistic dance in the mirror, but to inspire YOU to write your own.)

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I am enough.

I am full of sparkle and compassion.  I genuinely want to make the world a better place. I love hard. I practice kindness. I’m not afraid of the truth. I am loyal, adventurous, supportive, and surprising.  I am a woman. I am enough. I make mistakes, but I own them and learn from them.

Sometimes I make a bunch of mistakes.

I am enough. I am open, juicy, artistic, full blast.  I am also vain, emotional, demanding, and looking for answers. I am a woman who is open to mysteries, accepting of miracles. I am diving in, devouring, loving, protecting, peeling back the surface of petty desires to the hunger for connection, for belief, for truth.

I am less concerned with doing things correctly than I once was and more concerned with showing up and loving hard.

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I accept that a sense of wonder is something to cultivate. I accept that I sometimes self-medicate with alcohol, with filling my life full of busyness, with going into self imposed isolation.  I accept that I crave financial abundance, a freedom to do what I want, when I want it.  I am still enough.

I am a lover of ripe mangoes, stars in the midnight sky, stories around the campfire, the smell of rich coffee, laughing until I can’t breathe, having someone reach for my hand, swimming naked. I am a lover, a mama, a sister, a storyteller, a daughter, a mentor, and a student.

I am enough.

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And I know in my deepest heart — You are enough too.