Playing Small is Totally Allowed

You put a lot of pressure on yourself to conquer the next mountain, to uplevel your life, to face your fears, to be recognized (and paid! and adored!) for your greatest gifts, to achieve despite the hardships you face, to always play bigger.

Sometimes that pressure is exactly what you need to push through a barrier that doesn’t need to be in your way. Playing bigger can be an invitation to TRULY understand that you are capable of so much more than you imagined or were conditioned to believe possible. Playing bigger can allow you to shine, to change the world as only you can, to remember that action makes shit happen.

And yet…

Sometimes that very same pressure lands you in a life where playing bigger becomes a berating internal voice of do MORE, achieve MORE, you’re not enough as you are — be MORE.

It can load you up with incredible stress, with perfectionism, with judgement for yourself when you get quiet, slow down, or simply can’t push yourself any harder. It may force you to take on challenges that aren’t in integrity with your soul, to forget about your human enoughness, to chase dreams that aren’t truly yours, to belittle your own desires that seem too simple or frivolous or selfish.

In our month of Expectations, it’s been fascinating to watch half the women be drawn to the rally call of “play bigger” and half of them needing the permission slip to “play smaller.”

Mindi sent me a long, beautiful email talking about her last couple of years of wildly high achievement and influence.

And then she shared this,

“The idea that I don’t have to play BIG — that I don’t have to change the world, be a CEO, create world peace or in some other way achieve a monumental new thing — is the single most emotional thing that I’ve encountered in my journey of self-discovery over the last YEAR AND EIGHT MONTHS. Hearing today that “smaller, more sacred” goals are okay to have — that I don’t HAVE to play big — is the most relief I’ve felt in years.”

And Mindi knows that “small + sacred” doesn’t mean nothing… It doesn’t mean you stop believing in yourself or your gifts. It doesn’t stop you from creating or putting yourself out there or starting something new.

It means you release the pressure to prove yourself worthy or extraordinary through the bigness (money? impact? Influence?) of your life.

I know in my own journey of reclaiming my life  — I’ve needed both messages at different times.

I say this because I’m absolutely a fanner of the🔥 flame  — GO BIG! I’m also the one whispering in your ear — ENJOY SMALL + SACRED. 🙏

So today’s message?

It’s here if you need permission to stop banging on a closed door… To truly make peace with a year of taking care of the life already on your plate… To simply take a break from your warrior woman stance…

Playing smaller is totally allowed.

You are the same beautiful, bright, valued, loved human.


real talk
in real time

Get my weeklyish love notes for the stories behind these photos + quotes!

Holiday Council

Go above + beyond New Year's Resolutions! Spend 3 weeks with us releasing + Renewing, Dreaming + scheming, Plotting + Planning.

HoCo 2020 Flatlay Fur

Registration is now Open!