Just because Change is Hard, Doesn’t Mean it’s Wrong

Lots of shifts going on over here because of the decisions I made about how I want to feel + who I want to be in 2018.

Short version?

I picked FREE as my theme word for 2018. Free from my own forms of self-sabotage (overwork, external validation of worth, alcohol). Free to claim each moment as my own, fully present + fully expressed. Deliberately setting up major freedom in my life — money, time and impact.

It’s a year of cutting way back on work (already in place because of the decision not to run my intense mastermind this year), of sobriety, of my yearly goals being identities instead of achievements (BE a woman who is in her body, a woman who gets outside, a woman who does less better by going all in on Reclamation). It’s a year of spaciousness in my schedule and a streamlined business and home. It’s spirited playfulness and creativity in my life and work, supported by devotion to my own personal practices that keep me grounded.

It’s a lot of BEING, with way less DOING.

And it’s quite a change for this achievement-oriented activator who prides herself on her ability to get shit done, especially coming off a year that was overflowing with big goals, big adventures, big leaps.

So far? Well…

I’ve been the girl crying her face off in a coffee shop having hard financial conversations with her team, the lady of leisure swimming laps and journaling poolside at 2 pm on a Tuesday, the achiever who’s not sure what do with herself without a crazy deadline to meet, the creative who’s slowly opening up a dam of ideas that have been shoved under the rug of not enough time, the former daily drinker who’s finding more anxiety and rage than expected without the anesthesia of wine, the free-spirit who’s practicing letting herself want what she wants on a daily basis, the present mama who delights in the playful energy of her tiny humans…

Sometimes I’ve been up. Sometimes I’ve been down.

And a lot of it feels fucking hard.

But I keep reminding myself that just because the change is hard, doesn’t mean the change is wrong.

Change IS hard.

So, I’m doing my best to roll with it. I’m giving myself a lot of permission to just feel my feelings. To be incredibly gentle with myself. To pull waaaay back on the self-judgement. To find massive gratitude for the moments that light me up. To learn about who I am in the midst of this deliberate transition and welcome in who I am becoming.

Anyone else feeling the mess (and beauty) of the “in-between” time?