Self Care vs. Self Comfort: Which Do You Really Need?


Bubble baths, pedicures, massages, a sweet treat — all self-loving activities you think of when you think of self care, no?

After all, aren’t those sweet rituals proof of care?

Of loving yourself?

They are.

But when “self-care” turns into nights spent curled on the couch with cupcakes watching entire seasons of old shows, you may be walking a fine line.

When the delicious solo glass of wine on the porch turns into the bottle and late night ex-texting, you’ve thrown your care under the bus.

When rewarding yourself with a shopping trip becomes the only way to lift your spirits, your pampering is becoming dangerous.

When caring for yourself turns into distracting or numbing or avoiding, it’s time to pause.

It’s time to check in with yourself — what are you really craving in those moments?

In this Strategy for Joy video, I’ll help you unpack the answer.

There is a moment of choice where you can make a deliberate decision: CARE OR COMFORT?

Both are necessary!

Give yourself what you actually need.  Practice tuning into your cravings.

Sometimes we get so used to comforting ourselves, we skip right to the sugar when what we really need is to take a walk.  The TV can become so habitual that we don’t even realize that writing a blog post is what actually feels better at 9 pm.  We’re so practiced at rewarding ourselves with a massage, that we don’t even consider that a painting class might feel like more of a treat.


If you’ve been sliding into the land of distraction, numbness, excessive soothing at the expense of your values, there’s no point in beating yourself up.

Practice some self compassion and let today be the “reset” button.  If the comfort has been gaining crazy momentum, make a different choice now.  Today.  Tonight.

I know you can do it.

Need a little extra help figuring out what it is exactly that you need?

I’ve got you covered.

Access totally free, totally useful worksheets full of examples and questions you can ask yourself. 

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