Take Your Time

College has made me forget that it’s okay to be yourself.

My first year of college took my already existing struggles and blew them up ten fold. College has the ability to dangle my shy confidence and my dreams, right in front of my face. Every. Damn. Day.

College has made me feel like my dreams are silly and are not worth pursuing.

I’ve always been the one to compare myself to others and weigh my own accomplishments against my peers. Moving to college made this much more prominent than I can ever remember it being.

High school was never competitive for me. I was always doing my own thing and that worked out fine for me. I wasn’t aware of what was to come after receiving my high school diploma. I had been warned about the world, yet I did not think too much of it. I thought I was ready to hold my middle finger up against the world.

And maybe I was, at some point.

Or maybe, my naïve tendencies, were just rearing its ugly face again?

Even though I don’t like to admit it – my first year of college taught me a lot about the world and even myself. If I hadn’t gone to college straight away, after high school, part of me wonders if I would have ever even noticed these small pieces of myself?

The world is a hard place.

You could be working to the very best of your ability, yet it almost always seems like it’s not enough. The world keeps telling you, you should be doing this or that, forget about what you’re doing and what you find helps you get to the goal you have in mind.

Everybody is competing for the same thing, yet a different thing, all at once.

We all want to find happiness. We all want to do what makes our heart swell with joy.

It’s easy to become wrapped up in what others are doing. It’s easy to judge yourself as you watch colleagues, soar high, while you’re still trying to adjust to your feet and your wings.

Your work could be miles ahead of what you’ve done in the past, yet it seems like to the world, it still isn’t enough. Yeah, you’ve made improvements, but so what? You’re not up to the world’s expectations.

As everybody grasps what you’re working so hard to improve, as everybody is complimented for their abilities- you’re the one left staring down at yourself. Am I not good enough? Is this the world’s way of telling me, my dreams and aspirations, are impossible?

None of us really know what we’re doing. We’re all blindly following advice that’s passed along, by those that found these words ring true to, in their lives. What works for one person, does not work for everybody else.

It’s okay to take your time.

You don’t need to have skills mastered immediately. You don’t need to find a niche right away.

Everybody moves along at their own pace. It’s something I truly believe, yet I struggle with accepting this concept everyday.

The world tells me so many things. It gives me contradicting messages. One minute it’s okay to be yourself and do what feels right to you, while other times – you’re expected to be at a level, that you’re not at yet.

Be yourself, take your time, and explore what is right for you.

Take advice but remember, you don’t need to hold it up under a microscope. Keep it stored at the back of your mind, for when moments get tough.

It’s okay to get frustrated and doubt everything, that you’re working toward. It’s human nature to get discouraged and want to give up. Do not let these emotions, empower you, in a negative way. Try your hardest to channel your emotions into something positive. It may seem trivial, but the more you can do to distance yourself away from these feelings, and to even let these feelings fall into an outlet – the more it’s going to help you in the long run.

Read a book, write a short story, paint a picture, or even exercise! There are endless places that will absorb your darkest emotions and turn them into warmth and color, once more.

Don’t rush yourself into anything. It may seem like a nice tactic to get yourself into the direction that you want to pursue, but you risk overwhelming yourself. Sometimes if we overwhelm ourselves too much, we aren’t giving things our all, because our mind is too preoccupied with trying to prove our worth. It’s not worth it.

Ease yourself into whatever it is, you’re looking to bring into your future. Get your feet wet, I promise, it’s okay.

I’m never going to reach my dreams.

False. I will reach my dreams; I will not allow the cold and dreary emotions that college has held against me, to keep me from reaching my goal.

I will not leave myself behind in the process.

There will always be things that I will need to improve on; there are always going to be ways that may seem like the “right way,” but I have to pave my own path.

It’s hard to be a leader in a crowd of thousands. But it is possible.

I do not need a special image painted over my true identity. I am me and that is enough.

It may take me longer. Everything may not be perfect but I will make it.

I will make it on my own terms. As myself.