Dear Baby A,
Hi, it’s your Mama. This is the first of many, many letters you’ll receive I’m sure (I’m not the scrapbooking type). Right now, you are 10 weeks old and just over an inch long. That may not seem big to you, but the first time I said “Baby is this big” while measuring out an inch between my thumb and forefinger I just about fainted.
One day you will ask Daddy and me how we met and we will tell you the story about how we had known each other for about a year but one night Daddy walked into a party and it was like a magnet activated, while also turning on a light switch and setting off fireworks; all three things happened at once and we knew instantly we were both about to have our lives changed. That night your Daddy kissed my earlobes. If you end up being a boy, I hope you have the same genuine romantic soul your Daddy has. If you’re a girl I cannot wait for someone to set your night on fire like your Daddy did to mine.
While we knew we were starting something amazing, we didn’t know just how quickly our lives were going to change. You’ll do the math one day, because you’ll be insanely smart like your Dad, and realize that you were born literally 40 weeks after that night…. you were conceived 2 weeks after that night little one. (When you’re older we’ll talk about how “it only takes one time”, but that talk can wait.) I don’t know anyone who plans to start baby-making after two weeks, but that’s exactly what happened.
I never want you to think you were a mistake or an accident. Those words were never ever uttered by me or your dad. Accidents are things that you would take back if you could, like the decision to try giving myself bangs when I was 20. You, my love, were no accident because we would do it over again in heart beat. You are a surprise; the kind that makes a heart flutter and changes everything in the best possible way. After we found out you were coming, there was never a second that you were not wanted. We want you. We’ve always wanted you.
I want you to grow up surrounded by love. The primary piece of our love-family-puzzle will always be the fact that your Dad and I are crazy about each other; I know you’ll see it and grow up secure in your parent’s relationship and that makes me incredible happy. Your Dad and I have spent hours daydreaming of the family we’ll be when you get here. We’ve talked about nightly dinners, Christmas traditions, and how much you’ll love swimming in the summer. You’re going to have a magical childhood; protected and safe from all the things that make children grow up too fast. Lucky for you, your Dad is a teacher and gets summers off. You two are going to have the best summers exploring and playing together. You are going to be the only kid in our group of friends; you’re going to have a ton of “Aunts” and “Uncles” who are going to completely fall in love with you.
We’re never done this before, so we’re totally going to mess up along the way. I just wanted you to know that we love you. I love you. I love you more than I thought was possible at this point. I haven’t even felt you move yet, but I can feel my body changing and growing so that it can grow you. It’s incredible. So are you.