I knew that first weekend that I was going to marry Mr. A. (But don’t tell him that) 36 hours after our first kiss, I was laying in bed unable to sleep because my brain was racing and dancing thinking about the guy. He seemed to good to be true. He spoiled me and made me feel adored; being with him was as easy as breathing. I am proud of the person he is and aspires to be. He is going to be a fantastic husband, and I will never worry about his commitment to me.
It came suddenly and it came on strong. There have definitely been points when we’ve been scared, but largely it has felt freeing. He wrote in an email once:
I think as we get more tangled up in each other we’ll somehow get even more free. Real love is about accepting someone because you like their whole person, then you make concessions and adjustments as needed because you like them so much. Too many folks do things in reverse. I like your whole person, Bri, and I look forward to molding to your idiosyncrasies.
At first I thought I was not ready for it, but then again, maybe this is where every heartache and lonely night has been leading to the whole time.
From the beginning, we knew that from the outside we looked crazy; but as a participant it felt perfect, natural, safe, and amazing. It took less than a week before we admitted we wanted to be exclusive-boyfriend-girlfriend-kisses. Every step we’ve been trying to give ourselves the best foundation we can: honesty, grace, patience. Those three things are hard sometimes, but being truly vulnerable with someone has been wonderful; big bold love. That’s what I wished for as this year started and sometimes the universe gives you exactly what you ask for.
So last week when Mr. A asked me to marry him I said “Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes”. This is, without a doubt, the person I want to spend my life with. I cannot wait to be married to Mr. A.
So now, tribe. What advice do you have for me? If you’re married, what was the best advice you received? If you’re not married, think of a relationship that really WORKS and tell me why you think it does. What are the qualities of good marriages?