Addicted to the Busy
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Addicted to the Busy

As part of the wonderful Molly’s Joy Juice [Beta] I’ve been receiving some pretty phenomenal journaling prompts in my inbox every week.  I have really relished the opportunity to spend some quiet, reflective, me-time these past weeks and I wanted to share an little epiphany I had during the process.

One of the prompts asks how you spend your time.   The things that we spend our time doing says something about us, right?  Are you spending time doing things that fill you up?   Are you running around like a chicken without their head in an effort to distract yourself from your own life?   I tend to err toward the latter.

Before Mr. A, I was busy doing something every single night of the week.  I would run from work to some scheduled meeting/event/function, and while at times I loved it, I had been running on empty.  I was exhausted and I could feel myself having to force my smile and energy more than normal.  I was keeping up the break-neck momentum out of fear of what I would feel if I stopped for a day.  I was lonely.  I was avoiding myself.  Frantic business was better than dealing with the loneliness.

Being pregnant has changed everything. I feel like I have received the golden ticket to only do the things that are important to me.  My social calender is minimal with most nights spent snuggling in bed with Mr. A.  If I want to spend an evening ignoring my phone and indulging in a marathon of Gilmore Girls, that’s that I do.  If I crave Thai food and then ice cream cones and then yogurt and then Cheerios, that’s what I eat.  I have been quiet enough to be able to hear my body’s requests, and I am giving into it all. I have never felt more calm and myself.  I am so happy I am pregnant and finally figured out how to politely weed out all the crap that was filling my calender but not me.

BUT…

Why did I wait so long to start intentionally filling myself up?  Why did I need a baby-on-the-way to finally put up some boundaries with my time?  Now that I have some time freed up  I am focusing on some pretty important things.  I am growing a baby for starters (that is currently as big as a fig with all of it’s internal organs developed).  I am spending time with Mr. A, figuring out what I can do to make him feel adored and loved.  I have read three book in the past two weeks.  I’ve spent time dreaming about the life that will be here in 6 months. I am often asleep by 9pm.  I’m listening to my heart, my body, and my soul food-cravings better than I ever have.

What are YOU waiting for?  What are the things that you’re doing that aren’t filling you up?  What would you be doing if you had the golden ticket to get out of all those obligations that keep you moving at a manic pace?  Why can’t you start today?

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