I’m flying for work, which means I’m missing my boys for a few days. And there’s nothing like being alone, speeding at hundreds of miles per hour several miles above ground to make you ponder your own mortality.
The thing is this. I’ve never had anything truly bad happen in my life. I’ve never been to a funeral. I’ve never known anyone close to me die, get sick, go through some life altering experience or anything like that. I’ve never known poverty, starvation, addiction, death, sickness or anything horrible in general.
Of course, I’m beyond grateful for all of this. To never have known true suffering. It makes me realize I should be consciously grateful for everything in my life a lot more frequently.
But it all leaves me feeling like things can only get worse. Haven’t I had it too good, too easy? Is there death and sickness and sadness looming in my future? I’m an optimist and positivist by nature, but a small part of me can’t help but wonder.
What’s worse is when I come across quotes like, “wisdom comes from suffering,” and such words of “wisdom.” Do the people who experience rough times in their life really come out ahead of people like me?
These feel like horrible, embarrassing things to be thinking. I am truly thankful for all the beauty and generosity that surround my life, but here, alone on this plane besides strangers, I can’t help but be paranoid of the worst to come.
*Photo via: [Pinterest]